Still, abide

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.” Psalm 23:1-2

Being in your twenties is scary… well, at least it has been for me.

So far, my twenties have been full of life changes, big decisions, and shifting opinions — some great, some not so great.

I’ve moved away for college, been through difficult breakups, lost loved ones, started therapy, graduated, moved back home, gotten my first job, stopped therapy, met my future husband, gotten engaged, realized I don’t actually like what I got my degree in, and watched friendships come and go… and I’m only halfway through.

Maybe you’re not in your twenties, but I bet you can still relate. You, just like me, have been through a season (or maybe you’re in one right now) that makes you feel like you just need to stop and catch your breath — or maybe stay in bed for a week or so.

This season reminds me a lot of Matthew 14:22–33:

“Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds.
And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.
When evening came, he was there alone,
but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them.”

This season feels a lot like I’m rowing against the wind.

“And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea.
But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, ‘It is a ghost!’ and they cried out in fear.
But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.’”

Sometimes, seeing Jesus—or rather, seeing something He has planned for us—can be scary. Sometimes it’s a new opportunity, a new way to serve, or even a closed door. It’s not always a big relief when we start to see God move. The funny thing about God is that while His plans are always good, they don’t always feel safe or secure. Sometimes we’re even left asking, “Jesus, is this really You?”

“And Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’
He said, ‘Come.’
So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.
But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’
Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him,
‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’
And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.
And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’”

Sometimes, the Lord calls us out into stormy waters to meet Him on the waves. Sometimes the storm is exactly where He is. Notice that Jesus kept Peter safe as he walked out into the storm—until Peter shifted his gaze.

It wasn’t the storm that caused Peter to sink; it was where his eyes were fixed.

It’s so easy for me to focus on the storm. To let it pull me under. An anxiety-riddled brain will do that to you. It’s hard to sit still and focus on Jesus when the waves are tossing you around.

But I think that’s where I’ve gotten it wrong.
I always thought learning to trust the Lord would happen in stillness and quiet. That peace meant still waters. But now I’m learning that true peace comes from trusting Jesus even when life gets loud.
Even when things speed up instead of slowing down.
Even when the calendar fills up.
Even when things don’t go the way I planned.

In this season, I’ve felt the Lord gently remind me:
“With Me, you will not want.
With Me, you are safe.
I will make your storms as still waters.
Fix your gaze upon Me.
Even here—still, abide.”

Matthew 14:31 — “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”